As you may have read in one of my previous posts, this entire process of pregnancy and preparing for fatherhood has really been an eye opener for me regarding my relationship with God. Please allow me to set the groundwork for this post...
All of this got started back around September, 2009. As soon as Jamie and I found out we were pregnant, I instantly had a deep desire to give my Son the best life had to offer. I also developed a growing sense of protectiveness in me towards my Son. I started to realize just how dangerous the world can be for adults, let alone children. I wanted to be sure that this little guy would be safe both in the womb and in life in the real world after he is born. As these two desires grew and I began thinking more and more about them, I realized that I truly was almost helpless to provide these things for my Son. How can I give my son the best the world has to offer? I am limited by my abilities, talents, income, location, many other things. How can I keep my Son safe in this world? Sure I can keep him safe while I am awake and with him, but what about while he's in the womb, sleeping, sick, at school? This brought me to the "ah-hah" moment that while I am limited in what I can do for my son, God isn't. Although I want what is best for Him, God is the only one who (1)knows what's best for him and (2) is the only one who can give it to him. God is the only one who can watch over my little guy right now while he's in Jamie's womb as well as every second over every day no matter where he is.
After realized how helpless I was an began to experience the fears of my inabilities, it got me thinking that I probably wasn't the only one to go through this. I suddenly realized that my parents and many other parents around the world have probably had very similar thoughts for their soon-to-be-children. That led me to the question, "If my parents were limited in what they could do for me, how did I manage to live a blessed life these past 24 years?" The answer to this question was the same answer that triggered my previous "ah-hah" moment...God. After thinking more and more about the answer to this question, I realized that the only reason that I am alive and thriving today is because God has been gracious and merciful to me from the moment I was conceived. He has blessed me immensely and continues to do so each and every day. I think that I have always known that God loves me and has blessed me, but I didn't realize just how much until I started wanting His love and blessings for my son.
Therefore, I went from wanting what is best for my Son and wanting to be his protector to wanting him to have access to the source of the answers of my two desires... which can only be provided through a relationship with God. This brought both Jamie and I to wanting nothing greater than for our Son to have a personal relationship with God. So, how do we do that? Well, when we first conceived, we went and spoke with our pastor at the church we went to in Lubbock. At that time, (which was before my "ah-hah" moments and later realizations) he told us that we cannot expect our children to apply something to their life (such as a relationship with God) unless we consistently make it a part of our lives.
O.K., I know this is getting long, but hang in there. I guess all of this could be summed up by the following:
1. God has blessed me and given me so much in this life that I am extremely un-deserving of. He has protected me in this sometimes hostile world and brought me up through my childhood to where I am today.
2. I want the same blessings I received from God for my Son, and I am not capable of providing for him everything that God has provided for me.
3. I know that I cannot expect my Son to have an active relationship with God unless I do in my life.
4. Therefore, I need to actively pursue my relationship with God and go from knowing Him casually to knowing him personally. (to put this on a timeline, I came to this realization around November of 2009(
This brings me to the whole point of this post. I need to know God on a personal level and experience Him daily so that my children may come to know God. After I came to this conclusion, I truly began to actively seek God consistently for the first time in my life. I have had a relationship with God for as long as I can remember, but it was not a "personal relationship" that I pursued every day. It was more of a casual relationship that grew little by little on Sundays and at night when I prayed. So, I can honestly say that I now know Him more today than I ever had and am looking forward to getting to know Him more and more each day.
As a new part of this blog, I am going to be sharing with you some of my experiences with God and things I learn about Him. I am doing this for 2 reasons....
1. Teaching others about something is the best way to actually learn it and retain it. In all honesty, this is just as much for me as it is for you. By posting God-related blogs, I will need to continue in my pursuit of God's word which will help me grow in my relationship.
2. Hopefully I can encourage you to seek God more in depth and become closer with Him. I will be letting you know about resources or strategies that have helped me grow in my faith. A lot of you will probably think that my postings about God are very "simple" and "basic", but that's where I need to start. Like I said earlier, I have a lot of work to do and need to set my foundation before I can start building.
Anyway. Sorry this was so long. I just wanted everyone to know where I was coming from before I started sharing my experiences with God on this blog. Please feel free to comment on anything I say. I want to grow with you. If I interpret something incorrectly, correct me and help me to better understand. Let me know of things that have helped you in your walk with Christ. I am sure I have more to learn from most of you than you do from me. In any way, God is great!
**I would also like to note that my beautiful wife has been right there beside me during this process. You could replace my name with hers in the post and it would still be true. She will be sharing as well and I am blessed that she desires to grow in her relationship with God.***